Saturday, September 16, 2006

Mom, Can I have some money?

A student's request for extra money

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.

His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.

So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"

"Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000."

"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"

"Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"

Saturday, July 29, 2006

He didn't Kick Too Much

From a dear mother:

He Didn't Kick Too Much

A few days ago my daughter, who is expecting her third child, was telling the other two children that this baby is kicking alot. She further explained that when she had the first one, Mikey, he didn't kick too much. Mikey gently said to his mother "Mom, do you know why I didn't kick you too much? Because I knew you were my Mommy".

Out of the mouths of our sweet babes.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Hearing from daughter after 3 months

A parent's terrors of life

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay?

Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambtious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know you expressed tolerence will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good, too for I am told that his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphillis and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you to see these marks in the proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,
Dorothy

Sunday, March 19, 2006

About Dogs and Cats

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you are in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They are great at begging.
8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9. They leave their toys everywhere.
10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They are tiny little men in fur coats.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They are totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They are moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They are tiny little women in fur coats

Sunday, February 19, 2006

More disgusting mommy mommy jokes

Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?
Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!
Shut up, we only have it once a month.

Mommy, Mommy! I HATE spaghetti!
Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.

Mommy, mommy, but I don't want to eat spaghetti again.
Shut up or I'll put your other arm in the meat grinder.

Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye!
Shut up and eat around it.

Friday, December 16, 2005

FREE Chicken Recipes Cook Book for the Holidays

Before you cook some chicken from the 300 chicken recipes book, What do you say we look at some chicken jokes.

Q. When Fruit Comes From A Fruit Tree, What Kind Of Tree Does Chicken Come From?
A. A Poul-Tree.

Q. Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Egg?
A. Neither, The Rooster.

Q. Why Did The Chicken Cross To The Middle Of The Road?
A. She Wanted To Lay It On The Line.

Q. Why Did The Blonde Bake A Chicken For 3 And A Half Days?
A. It Said Cook It For Half An Hour Per Pound, And She Weighed 125.

In this season of giving, TheInfoPublishers.com has decided to give away one of our many ebooks from our elibrary. If you are looking for ideas to cook your chickens, you will never be wanting with these selections! Happy Holidays and Merry Wishes for Christmas!

http://www.TheInfoPublishers.com/recipes/freechicken.html

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Morethanfun.com Inaugural Post

Welcome to the More Than Fun Jokes weBlog.

Apparently, the name morethanfun was already taken up, so i used Morethanfunjokes instead. I'll be putting up some new jokes and maybe even some fun sites here on a regular (ok, maybe not so regular, semi-regular might be a better word) basis.

And of course, you may want to know where to find the ultimate collection of mommy mommy jokes. Its at http://morethanfun.com/jokes/mommy.cgi

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
mom: Hurry up and get the marshmallows!